had a fight with the boss at home.

she did it on purpose.
i dont know.
i just want to shout.

i raised my voice.
it's not me.

i just dont know why she want to choose this day to have a fight with me.
it's very very stupid and all i can think of is that she just want to make an excuse to not let me go out.
and it's very irritating and... (i have no other even furious words to describe how i actually feel when im standing there right in front of her.)

it make my heart beat goes faster and i feel like throwing smth.
kicking WHATEVER.

i dont know why TODAY.
why bloody today and not after.
everything on my mind tell me she did it on purpose.

she's just jealous that i have an invitation to a party??
fiona have to wait for me at the bus stop.
i have to call her to say i cant make it out of the house.
maybe i should have just gone out?
although she say she'l cut off my allowance and i wont be able to step into the house again.
i have the urge,but i know it's very serious.
just like i used to be,give in.
im the weakess.
im still depending on the boss.

and the freaking idiot maid just keeps knocking on my door.
she is just so not afriad that i would throw a chair at her.

and my bloody brother who goes off to jakarta today didnt even bother to come knock the door and say he's leaving.

im damn sad.
damn pissed. and so annoyed.

yea it's all my fault.
i should have just stayed home my entire holiday.
i shouldnt have make friends with those who will stay out late.

yea lar yea lar.
im too selfish to say that.
i should have just lock myself at home.
oh,she didnt say i cant go out.

so blame myself who have no discipline at all.
i shouldnt have stayed out so long with my friends.
i should have just left.

do you know how it feels to have no friend.
when all the excuses that you can tell your friend are that you are not allowed to go out.
when people are having fun,you only got to know it when they tell you,when it's all over?
ok maybe not so serious.

but there is like so many activities in a week.
how do you resists not attending any of them.
and people say live every second of your life.

it's not like there's any family activity going on.

maybe it's just the accompaniment?
i contrdicts myself.
wan to find a reason to rebel, but seems like im always in the wrong.
i dont know.


whatever.

LOVE <3
`dontwannamissittml.`
;9/07/2008 10:54:00 pm