must be infected by my cousin my aunt. URGH. fever~~~~~~~~~~~~~
not well. :(
;1/21/2011 04:47:00 PM
"I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."
sounds like a song.... nice.
;1/21/2011 12:51:00 PM
cousins coming back. hope everything else can get behind my mind.
angry but cant do anything. haha. cant believe there are such idiots living on earth. cant believe. i cant believe. im so angry.
im angry. *#%&@$#%
;1/18/2011 08:52:00 PM
you want to know what?
maybe i still wanna give it a try. but im not sure if it is right. maybe it is not worth it. becuz you are controlled. you cant decide. den whatever i do doesnt make any difference. right?
do you want it back? do you want us to try? deep inside me.. i want. but i have to act like i dun want? haa. im ridiculous. maybe i have to suffer all these to move on. duh. time will solve it.
;1/18/2011 12:03:00 PM
when you used to tell me where you were going. i used to ask you every single details.....
so uncomfortable not knowing anything. haha. didnt know if you want it, so i didnt send it. thinking if you are curious you would send it. maybe you are thinking the same too.....
had a few really bad dreams, cant slp the whole night yesterday. feels so helpless. saw my cousins got murder and smth bad to my grandpa. it was a cold night and my aunt didnt give me enough blanket! tsk.
bought a mickey blanket. really cute. got a blue one cuz my aunt got the really nice pink one. haha. havent been having good appetite. maybe it's the weather.... too cold, doesnt seems to be hungry.
disappointed with my big aunt. maybe it really meant that we shall not have any other interactions anymore.
love. well, i was still hoping.. haiz. still need more time i guess. all i can think now is that he wanna keep you back home to accompany him. hmph :(
;1/17/2011 10:18:00 PM
he is your boyfriend in name and husband in spirit
"when a man is ready to become a husband. he will start acting like your husband. For instance, he will make plans for the future, introduce you to his friends and family, and not only call you daily but want to tell you the details of his day and have desire to hear about yours."
寂寞不痛 痛在做夢 幻想當你自由膩了以後 會來激動吻我用愛悔過 做醒不來的夢.....
;1/13/2011 11:58:00 AM
one of the post that i didnt post earlier on.... was when i return from my first holiday in brisbane......
12AUG2010 havent been updating lately.
was such a different kind of life since i got here in brisbane. almost half a year now.
first semester was not that alright. coping with work. coping with friends. coping with the environment. coping with life here alone............
i have to say im not a one person kind of person. 可是人很矛盾.....有時候一個人,還不錯 even if i prefer to be alone. i wish there is people whom i know. feel safe. i dont know.
went back singapore for holiday. things were complicated. i hate it when it all gets complicated. why cant it just go my way?
second day was really good. spent it with weh. sometimes, i just wished that it could all be just like that. but it is not. face what they called it.....reality.
was so angry, sad, depressed, moody..... whatever that means that im unhappy. i have plans. so mixed up. but things just happens to happen the way you dont want it to happen. what can you do? i canceled my vacation. the one that i have been waiting since two months or so before my holiday even start. bought the tickets to confirm my decision, but still things have to change.
my cousin cant accompany me if i go later to shanghai. my dad have to come back on the day i leave for my holiday. my mom have to force me to stay longer in shanghai than i ever expected.
my cousin's got exam. so he can only do it earlier. my dad booked his tickets alrdy so he cant change so i as his daughter have to change my schedule cuz he is my dad. my mom giving me this opportunity to go to this expo that not many people can go. asking me to spend longer time there so that i can have more time. i mean a flight there is not cheap.
i didnt regret any of the decisions that i was force to make. just one. if i were smart enough i would have push that vacation back near the end and not right in the beginning of the month and everything would be fine. im such a bastard. im stupid. i was disappointed by myself. my weakness is my family, my mom and my dad maybe.
i spend the whole day crying. yea, hiding in my room. i cant believe, i was so looking forward. but why. just feel so sorry to weh. dun like to be mistaken. never becuz im not firm enough. but things have to be like that.
i showed my decisions by buying those tickets. but guess it doesnt prove anything. cuz things still changed in the end......
i didnt regret anything that happened. but only one regret. feel sorry to weh. not only me who is expecting this vacation..... i get to go somewhere else but where does weh go?
always letting him down. guess that is the part where things start to change....
;1/13/2011 11:51:00 AM
remember the time when you said you dun want to fall for me and deleted me on yahoo. and added me back.... how cute is that. haha.
took you so long to think whether you want to talk to me. what are you thinking now?
it's amazing how i actually rmb everything. that day when i told you i had a fight with my mom and dream of my grandma. and was drinking....
crying while i type and tell you what happened. why am i able to tell you everything. it is amazing. i was touched.
i have so many things to say. so many. but maybe you didnt want to listen you never ask never try harder. yea, im difficult. haiz... yea. if i didnt show it u never will know. but i do wan to share everything with you.
a bad timing u tell me ur feelings maybe? if it werent when i have to go overseas.....maybe it will be different.
but i enjoyed when we were together. i missed it. haha. im a coward. and i took everything for granted. i love when you express ur feelings for me. feel safe. feel so warm..... no one ever so good to me... i keep everything to myself. someone finally make me open up and willing to say... someone who cares. where is it now? haha. back to myself again. true. who would wan to hear all complainings all the trouble things. u have your own problems.
i cant tell it to my mom. she has too much to worry about. sometimes i tell it to my brother. but it's different. haha.
the only secret i have. and why did i even choose to tell you. haha. i just hope u as a gentleman will tell no one including ur family. i will hate you forever if anybody else know. haha.
feel so helpless. when the only secret that you keep for the rest of your life is being told to someone who wont be there for you? omg, what did i do. haha.
but i didnt regret it. i owe you this honesty. im brave enough to say i never lie.
my heart does hurt that much. haha. but i will be strong again.
i wasnt sure if i really love you in the beginning. but im very sure as days past cuz i feel my heart pain. the first valentine's day. the little msges u send me everynight. when i just got there. i actually kept them. but some were gone. becuz that fake nokia died on me. haha. damn. many more...
maybe it faded for you but it grew stronger for me. maybe i depended too much on you... maybe that's why you got too stressed up. haha. my fault. i took everything for granted i guess. i reflected on myself.
what i thought you still cares,maybe im just lying to myself. but you did acted like you didnt. or maybe you really didnt care. it's good maybe. cuz u dun wan to act like you need me and you wan to stay it that way? cuz we are both stubborn. not sure if it's the case. feels sad. feels being neglected. feels like it actually has happened before. just that i didnt realise. feels so cold.
maybe i thought there's still hope... how stupid. 想給自己個期限~ 不想再難過了~~~~
寂寞不痛 痛在念舊 越小的事越多感受...
時間像笨小偷 把幸福打破 留下了碎片 讓人難過....
You Belong with Me You're on the phone with your girlfriend, shes upset. Shes going off about something that you said 'Cuz she doesn't, get your humor like I do... I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like and she'll never know your story like i do But she wears short skirts I wear T-shirts She's cheer captain And I'm on the bleachers Dreaming about the day when you wake up And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time If you could see that I'm the one who understands you been here all along so why can't you see, you You belong with me You belong with me Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself Hey isn't this easy And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down You say you're fine I know you better then that Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that She wears high heels I wear sneakers Shes cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along so why can't you see You belong with me Standing by and waiting at your back door all this time how could you not know Baby.... You belong with me You belong with me I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night I'm the one who makes you laugh When you know you're about to cry And i know your favorite songs And you tell me about your dreams Think I know where you belong Think I know it's with me... Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you Been here all along So why can't you see You belong with me Standing by and waiting at your back door All this time How could you not know Baby you belong with me You belong with me You belong with me Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me You belong with me...
;1/11/2011 06:05:00 PM
i still misses you....
haiz. im a stupid girl.... i will still think of you late at night when i cant sleep.....
i need to diet.....
random. :\ loves.
;1/04/2011 12:25:00 AM
whatever written in this blog is true.
what i felt and what i do.
about my family AND my friends.♥
if you dont like my blog,
(which i dont believe anyone does!)
just leave the page!:)
p/s.REMEMBER TO TAG BEFORE YOU LEAVE!♥
The LOVED one.
About me,HSUHSINWEN. FRIENDSTER &
FOREVER the same.
i LOVE♥ taiwan!
i like people who laugh alot!:D
and seriously if you think you are one, i'd like to make friends with you! haha.