maybe feelings fade.
maybe there's some problem that i cant know.
maybe he found a new girl?

i dont know.
i know nothing.
i feel that there is more to whatever you have said.

but i cant figure out why.
all the things just comes to me.
feel so frustrated not able to know anything.


den my friends say.
"he knows everything.... because you have been telling him. he might have the reasons alrdy but either he doesnt know how to say it, or he just needs more time.
just give him the time he need, and then talk with him when he wan to... and you have to talk about it because things cant be solved if you dont talk...."

never so afraid to know the real reason...
am i not good enough?

another friend say "it is ego. it is about him, his feelings, and you. his reasons now seems more like excuses. there is something else.....you need commmunications.." "did you ever asked him how much he loves you?...."


there are so many things i wanted to do.
even though you never plan but i dont know why i planned it all in my head.
wishing you would at least think like me.
isit just me?

it has been just me isnt it? or this is the part i didnt know?
havent watch my rapunzel movie. my tron movie...
have been back for almost a month.
by this time i would have seen more than 2 movies.....
one of my regrets.

we would been out somewhere for a nicer dinner. benten cafe or curry fish head or somewhere at least once or twice.
i didnt expect many.
alittle sacrificing of your own private time maybe?
i know things change before you have a job and after you have a job...

i do consider for you....


small things weh...
you used to keep my phone in your pocket when i didnt have a bag with me...
u will keep it for me even though i said its look ugly.
u used to tell me we had a good day tgt..
what i needed the most.
wanting to know how you feel.
when now i have been the one telling you.... but u didnt even reply to that msg....


just disappointed...
wan to know what happened badly.....

that tues when we went out looking for ur phone pouch was the best day in this whole month.

loves.
;12/20/2010 01:00:00 am

Love that smile....just love it!
Waiting at starbucks for his boss to go off.....zzz

the Internet can be connected just like that without password and it is pretty damn fast!!hahahha!!
glad I had this mini conver with do and dri.haha

both the same!!! Wants bikini girls!!!
We girls wan hot guys!!!get for us!!lol!

Good to go mini pre-Christmas celebration!!
Can't wait.. :D

love the smile love ur voice..... <3

loves.
;12/15/2010 03:39:00 pm

Cooked kang kong and egg for weh!!
And I helped with curry!!!
It tasted goooood!!I'm gooooood!!haha
Going to surprise weh with lunch hahahahaha!!
Hope he hasn't eaten his cup noodles yet...!!

loves.
;12/15/2010 11:34:00 am

i love you...
just cant let go :(

loves.
;12/15/2010 03:31:00 am

sometimes i think im too selfish.
maybe it is really me.
too demanding and stuffs.
makes me really hard to breathe...

it is like squeezing my heart so tight that i feel hopeless, unable to do anything.
when i feel like it's gone, it comes back to you.....

like a quote saying: pushing you over the cliff and running down to catch you.

after i feel so angry and said all those things, den all the sweet things you said have to come back all of a sudden, and makes me feel like a bad person.

so difficult....

loves.
;12/14/2010 12:19:00 pm

im not sure if you have changed.
but i cant feel the love. :(
ur willingness to put in some effort....

havent seen a single movie since im back...

loves.
;12/14/2010 03:10:00 am

maybe it is time.....?
who can i talked to?



loves.
;12/12/2010 12:51:00 am

sometimes u just dont know how i feel.
i thought you knew.
and think maybe you were just pretending.
because i didnt make a move so you decided to keep it to yourself too?
you think that is alright?
i sound so selfish but i wish you could make the move.

i wish there were more things to talk about.
and there are more honesty.

is it how you want it to be?
because im feeling lesser and lesser.
and it makes me feel very down that i thought i was alone.

i just feel like there could be more.
but you didnt know how to do it.

i am all free but it is so hard for you to say it.
say you want me to go look for you.
or maybe you didnt want it?? then it is my fault.

makes me really depressed.
it could be so much of a whole new plan for the day.
rather than me just staying back home.
you didnt bother to tell me ur friends were there in the afternoon?
i could have said that maybe i can go look for you and them together have dinner or smth.
but you decided to keep quiet.
i have no idea what you are thinking.
i have to ask all the questions in the world for you to tell me. or else there will be no answer.
even questions asked doesnt mean i get all the answers.
how am i supposed to feel?
i need someone to teach me....

just got back from bintan.
saying you miss me doesnt make any difference, only if you see me.
i guess the old you, when you have not changed, would have done it for me.
coming down for a dinner or something would be nice.

when we could have our time together alone, you want to bring your friend along.
just alittle upset.
i dont know what do you wan?

i asked so many questions in a message and the only thing you could answer me is just one word.
what does that supposed to mean?
i thought you would call even though i didnt call.

im so tired thinking of all these by myself. :(
i dont wan to force you.
dont wanna change you but you dont seems to get it.

and when i complained.
just makes me sounds like im bad.
i just dont know where this is going.

it is no longer the same.
partly my fault too i guess.
because i left......

loves.
;12/11/2010 11:48:00 pm

BAD DAY




:(

what will make all these go away....
loves.
;12/01/2010 08:46:00 pm

seriously. what a bad day.
had muscle ache. couldnt turn my body.
like literally unmovable!!><
achings all over like, please kill me.

thought of going back to slp, so i didnt off my aircon.
aunty belen went into my room and scolded why i didnt off it.
den mom got back
got scolded again like almost at a pitch of screaming!
she could have just said it.
but instead bringing back whatever she can think about to scold me.
and wth. someone switch the aircon to a temp of 27degrees.
who the hell will know that the aircon is still on?

i swear i went in to check.
freaking irritated.

bloody hot day,and my aircon is at 27 degrees.
and she have to scream.

freaking mad.
then i have to receive an sms of jt trying to be funny.
wah.make me even madder.

i know what previous situations you met.
and the problem is 不分青紅皂白冤枉人家 is not the best solution u can come up with.
i dont like the feeling of being 冤枉
and you are angry becuz you have to give me a small reminder?
it is a reminder and not asking you to do it.
doing it includes more than just saying it.
you need to sit down and do it.

haiz.



you said you wanna meet.
i said alright go ahead do whatever you wan i will find my reason,my way there.
bcuz it is late and i might not be able to go. and it is far.
and im having muscle aches. you didnt even ask.
i hinted and realised, i actually could go....
den you have to cancel it. :(
it's my fault.
i should have said yes the first time you asked.
so nothing like such would have happened.
wanted to tell you i passed my 2nd semester.
was still happy.
and den the thought of how you actually didnt quit s, makes me mood-less.
all these really spoils whatever mood. :(


FIRST DAY OF DECEMBER really a bad day for me.

loves.
;12/01/2010 04:21:00 pm

the hug you gave me.
the hands you hold me.
haha.

shy~~~~
loves.
;12/01/2010 10:47:00 am