愛情太遠了怎麽維繫？
我很努力

我不會....
我真的不會
是我不適合學人家談這種遠距離愛情？

很難
我流的淚是為你流的
不是不愛你
是怕淡了

我不懂，我不知道啊~

這愛情怎麽辦？

你我守護的這段愛情
我不知道你是不是跟我一樣
可是我有點累了
我有在隱藏我真的感覺嗎？
我現在是什麽心情我不懂，我也不知道~

我已經沒從你身上感覺到那份當初很愛的感覺了
一定是距離的關係
超想哭的
我不要~
我要等 我要熬過來....
可是時間越久....
就像是變懶惰了....

可能我真的想很多

“現在我不停忙碌 不斷讓步 想看清楚”
“依旧止不住那流失的温度”

可能是愛情還沒那麽堅固
又來個遠距離

我應該給你一點空間
也給自己一點空間
那可能我就不會那麽痛苦

我想公平一點
我知道你有付出
可是有時候你好像不夠了解我的意識....
我在想什麽
我想要什麽
我要求太多了吧~

我也是那種女生希望每天都來個甜言蜜語~
一個溫暖的擁抱

我不知道
我太自私了
你可能也是那麽的渴望
可是我卻想先放棄
.
.
.
.
我真的很想他
我可能真的不適合
因爲我我快沒感覺了
對他太不公平了

我可以對誰說阿~
誰來給我點意見吧~
這段愛情顧問一直都是我自己一個人
我自己想
我自己努力
我自己維持
我為他讓彼此有一個機會

我太自私了
可能我今天心情沒那麽好.......

loves.

;5/23/2010 08:35:00 am

we love quiet places
we love nachos
we love coke
we love cars
we love designing
we love listening to songs
we love to sing (not about good or bad)
we love blackberry :)
he love me and i love him.

haha.

loves.
;5/12/2010 02:00:00 pm

It feels good to cry your heart out in the shower.
Everyone should try it.
You will feel better afterwards.
Guaranteed

it is just a sense of letting go for a moment.
you feel better definitely, but it's coming back.....

although it is getting lesser, but...
how many times do i have to do that in a week just to get over the homesickness.


i should really think positive and let smth stop me from thinking too much.
get some activity going or smth. i need a break to break off....
not alone but seems more like it. i have to go for it.
everybody is convincing me il be back home soon.
i should really stay strong.
:(

damn cancerian, who miss home much more than anybody else :(
but i love it when i miss them.
now i know how much they meant to me. (must be all along, i just didnt realise?)
im willing to do anything for them.

loves.
;5/11/2010 04:27:00 pm

was looking arnd and saw this
VERY singaporean style..
okay, here it goes........

Say also dont listen

Listen also dont understand

Dont understand also dont ask

Ask also dont do

Do also do wrong

Wrong also dont admit

Admit also dont correct

Correct also not happy

Not happy also dont say

loves.
;5/11/2010 11:29:00 am

kisses on the right track!:)

*Kiss on the stomach——-“Lets have sex”
*Kiss on the Forehead ——“Forever you will be mine”
*Kiss on the Ear —-“I’m horny”
*Kiss on the Cheek —-“We’re friends”
*Kiss on the Hand —-“I adore you”
*Kiss on the Neck —-“We belong together”
*Kiss on the Shoulder —-“I want you”
*Kiss on the Lips —-“I love you” OR “I want you”
*Holding Hands —-“We can learn to love each other”
*Slap on the Butt —-“That’s mine”
*Playing with the Ear —-“I can’t live without you”
*Holding on tight —-“Don’t let go”
*Looking into each other’s Eyes —-“Don’t leave me”
*Playing with Hair on Head —-“Tell me you love me”
*Arms around the Waist —-“I love you too much to let go”
*Laughing while Kissing —-“I am completely Comfortable with you”


imissyou.....
loves.
;5/08/2010 04:03:00 pm

真的很戲劇化
就像電視演的。。。
在冰冷的夜晚 有個很好很好的人送了一杯熱美祿給我
然後就離開了
那個好人就是滷蛋學長。。。

在陌生的國家，有個像這樣的“家人"真的很棒。

謝謝學長。
的確是還蠻想家的。。
還被你聼出來了
哈哈

昨天晚上真的好冷。。
我都差點哭出來了
好好噢
美祿真的從來沒那麽好喝。。。
很溫暖。。

謝謝。

loves.
;5/08/2010 09:34:00 am

05may2010.
havent been updating.

recently have like this chunks of submissions due :(
essays, tech, and soon review of schematic design.
finally done with essays and tech.

i dont know.

sometimes, i think im useless in anyways.
some people are just talented and all.
not that im useless, but the span of my focus point is SOOOOOOOOOOOO low.
:(

im trying SUPER HARD to work hard.
i seriously hope i can.


07may2010.
time is passing so fast.
yea i know.
i contradict myself.
i said i was so slow and then think it's fast.
it's like a... you in "it" thing and too into "it" you feel out of "it"

i dont know, sometimes i will fall into a big cry in the room.
and suddenly stop and think what the hell am i crying.
but by the time, il alrdy have cried like for at least 15 minutes, just being stubborn and crying out loud.
cuz anyway to relieve stress...in a way.

just done review today.
felt like shit.
although i feel bad. but somehow. i knew.
i just cant talk about my ideas?
they say i didnt prove it with drawings and everything?

i need a rest. i dont know.
and i have to quit saying the word "i dont know" it is making me really tired.
CUZ I KNOW. I FREAKING KNOW, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW.
i just need to sit and think.
SIT AND THINK. YES.

and start scribbling and whatever coming into the mind,do it.
i will freaking slap myself hard on the face, if another freaking "I DONT KNOW" comes out from my mouth.
CUZ AGAIN I FREAKING KNOW!

i just dun wan to use it as an excuse and overuse it.
ofcuz i did have times where i really dont know.
ASK!!!!! STUPID.

sometimes i feel fine, sometimes i feel like i wanna go home.
on and off, making me crazy.
what is wrong with me.
im just plain lazy maybe.

im so dependent.
i cant be independent?
why....WHY?
im alrdy here.....

but i just wanna go home now........
want to go so badly.
i want to call my brother and ask him what time is he going home :(
i wanna shout at aunty belen in the house and scream and laugh with her.
i wanna sleep with my mom.... just feel safe sleeping with her.
like when i have bad dreams, i feel safe when i see her with me....
i want my bed.

just dont care?
just leave me and soon, il get use to it and be fine after awhile.
i feel so weak when someone cares for me.
il want to tell them how bad i am now and start breaking down and crying out loud.
but nah.... i tell myself im fine.

gaining trust from friends is so hard.
well, i think it's alright but to maintain it and how people let you into their heart, is so hard.
although it's getting better but somehow, people forgets easily.
or maybe. im expecting too much.

just saw the freaking date for the exam.
24 JUNE 8am.

my birthday this year will be on the 28june.
*TAKE NOTE*

i really have to work hard.
just do it.
nothing is impossible.
dont expect too much....but still do your best.

somehow,it's all going to be okay.
and going home soon.
just alittle panicing about exams.
memorising buildings, writting about the different periods and we have to know about them?
damn :(

il have to do past papers and i must :(
15 june, i hand up everything and start mugging then.
i cant wait till last minute.
i have NINE DAYS to mug for history.
and 3 DAYS more to be back home.
im not sure what im going to do when im back but somehow, i just want to be back there....
i dun mind being home everyday or just sticking arnd with you.....
just want to be where im familiar with.

today i dropped off one bus stop after the one i usually drop and almost lost my way.
what an idiot. but yea, somehow i got my way back....
it's an opportunity to be more familiarised with the area arnd my place.
maybe i should start jogging around too. exercising.

it's been coldddddd...
i think i dont have enough clothes?
i have lesser winter clothes than i knew i had.
like i only have two really thick ones and still feel cold?
and i have only 2 jackets.
i need to shop for more winter clothes.
freezing early in the morning. :(

winter is never this bad...
thinking of spending winter without family feel so cold.

the house is so quiet.....
once in awhile it's nice. but if it is everyday.
i feel sick.
how can someone be able to live like that....
yea i can if im in a more familiar place.
but im not very familiar with the place and not much friends and stuffs.

yea i like it here sometimes, but always felt that it would be better with someone more familiar.

the other day while trying to rush work, i missed my direct bus home and the usual bus that i would take if i miss my direct bus.
so i missed all the buses and have to go way around to another bus stop to take a bus to the city.
i should really learn to be independent, but yea i was tearing. feeling so lonely.
when you called i almost want to break down and cry but i didnt. thanks to agus who accompanied me to the bus stop.

but while waiting for bus, i couldnt help it... felt so sad. :(
how i wish a friend would be here for me, but yea, have to mention that wenny is a really nice girl, she picked up my call cuz i didnt know if the bus is going to drop at the place where i have to get down to change bus.

lucky i do have really some nice people around me...
just cant let anyone down.
have to really work hard. :(

positive thinking i suppose.............

loves.
;5/05/2010 03:23:00 pm