The love that never change.

20110112

remember the time when you said you dun want to fall for me and deleted me on yahoo.
and added me back....
how cute is that. haha.

took you so long to think whether you want to talk to me.
what are you thinking now?

it's amazing how i actually rmb everything.
that day when i told you i had a fight with my mom and dream of my grandma.
and was drinking....

crying while i type and tell you what happened.
why am i able to tell you everything.
it is amazing.
i was touched.

i have so many things to say.
so many.
but maybe you didnt want to listen
you never ask never try harder. yea, im difficult. haiz...
yea. if i didnt show it u never will know.
but i do wan to share everything with you.

a bad timing u tell me ur feelings maybe?
if it werent when i have to go overseas.....maybe it will be different.

but i enjoyed when we were together.
i missed it. haha.
im a coward.
and i took everything for granted.
i love when you express ur feelings for me.
feel safe. feel so warm.....
no one ever so good to me...
i keep everything to myself.
someone finally make me open up and willing to say...
someone who cares.
where is it now?
haha. back to myself again.
true. who would wan to hear all complainings all the trouble things.
u have your own problems.

i cant tell it to my mom.
she has too much to worry about.
sometimes i tell it to my brother. but it's different.
haha.

the only secret i have.
and why did i even choose to tell you. haha.
i just hope u as a gentleman will tell no one including ur family.
i will hate you forever if anybody else know. haha.

feel so helpless.
when the only secret that you keep for the rest of your life is being told to someone who wont be there for you?
omg, what did i do. haha.

but i didnt regret it.
i owe you this honesty.
im brave enough to say i never lie.

my heart does hurt that much. haha.
but i will be strong again.

i wasnt sure if i really love you in the beginning.
but im very sure as days past cuz i feel my heart pain.
the first valentine's day. the little msges u send me everynight. when i just got there.
i actually kept them. but some were gone. becuz that fake nokia died on me. haha. damn.
many more...

maybe it faded for you but it grew stronger for me.
maybe i depended too much on you...
maybe that's why you got too stressed up. haha.
my fault.
i took everything for granted i guess.
i reflected on myself.

what i thought you still cares,maybe im just lying to myself.
but you did acted like you didnt. or maybe you really didnt care.
it's good maybe.
cuz u dun wan to act like you need me and you wan to stay it that way?
cuz we are both stubborn.
not sure if it's the case.
feels sad.
feels being neglected.
feels like it actually has happened before. just that i didnt realise.
feels so cold.

i will be fine..

very soon. haha.

love.

;1/12/2011 09:45:00 pm