20110113
one of the post that i didnt post earlier on....
was when i return from my first holiday in brisbane......
12AUG2010havent been updating lately.was such a different kind of life since i got here in brisbane.almost half a year now.first semester was not that alright.coping with work.coping with friends.coping with the environment.coping with life here alone............i have to say im not a one person kind of person.可是人很矛盾.....有時候一個人,還不錯even if i prefer to be alone. i wish there is people whom i know.feel safe.i dont know.went back singapore for holiday.things were complicated.i hate it when it all gets complicated.why cant it just go my way?second day was really good. spent it with weh.
sometimes, i just wished that it could all be just like that.
but it is not.
face what they called it.....reality.
was so angry, sad, depressed, moody..... whatever that means that im unhappy.
i have plans.
so mixed up.
but things just happens to happen the way you dont want it to happen.
what can you do?
i canceled my vacation.
the one that i have been waiting since two months or so before my holiday even start.
bought the tickets to confirm my decision, but still things have to change.
my cousin cant accompany me if i go later to shanghai.
my dad have to come back on the day i leave for my holiday.
my mom have to force me to stay longer in shanghai than i ever expected.
my cousin's got exam. so he can only do it earlier.
my dad booked his tickets alrdy so he cant change so i as his daughter have to change my schedule cuz he is my dad.
my mom giving me this opportunity to go to this expo that not many people can go.
asking me to spend longer time there so that i can have more time. i mean a flight there is not cheap.
i didnt regret any of the decisions that i was force to make.
just one.
if i were smart enough i would have push that vacation back near the end and not right in the beginning of the month and everything would be fine.
im such a bastard.
im stupid.
i was disappointed by myself.
my weakness is my family, my mom and my dad maybe.
i spend the whole day crying.
yea, hiding in my room.
i cant believe, i was so looking forward.
but why.
just feel so sorry to weh.
dun like to be mistaken.
never becuz im not firm enough.
but things have to be like that.
i showed my decisions by buying those tickets.
but guess it doesnt prove anything.
cuz things still changed in the end......
i didnt regret anything that happened.
but only one regret.
feel sorry to weh.
not only me who is expecting this vacation.....
i get to go somewhere else but where does weh go?
always letting him down.
guess that is the part where things start to change....
love.
;1/13/2011 11:51:00 am
